You suck to work for

Looking for a job on Craigslist today and came across these jems. The retort from the owner of Sunny Day Cafe was flagged and removed before I could copy it. Note: Sunnyside Café has had 27 job postings in the past month. Is there something in the water here? The multiple sightings of undeveloped limbs (and one undeveloped man-boy – no, not a midget nor a dwarf) indicates, yes. Note to self: stop drinking water.

Re: Fat Hen sucks to work for
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Date: 2009-08-25, 9:27AM CDT
Reply to: job-vxmna-1341255500@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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These owners have serious issues,you will not like working there. Don't waste your time!!
• Compensation: Bull shit!

PostingID: 1341255500

re: sunny day (st rose)
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Date: 2009-08-25, 7:37AM CDT
Reply to: job-68zmv-1341108621@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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I was recently there. I had a terrible experience. First you need to actual travel there only to fill out a generic application. It could easily made available for download.Then dropped off. While I was there the staff and owner or manager argued about standard operating procedures.After filling out an application I returned it for review.They placed my app. on a stack of other and didn't even my eye contact with me to when they said "thank you".Generally when you ask someone to come in to fill out a app. you give them the courtesy to site down with for 5 min.I could understand if they were busy,however they had one costumer.Please save your time and apply to real employers.Please to all that applied before please call and ask them to destroy your vital information 504-465-1331
• Location: st.rose
• Compensation: not worth your time

PostingID: 1341108621

RE:sunnyday (st.rose)
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Date: 2009-08-25, 6:02AM CDT
Reply to: job-gekk4-1341050439@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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this post has been on here for 3 - 6 months, i went there myself to talk to the man, willing to work FOH or BOH, i thought i had the job, but he didnot call me back, for a posting to be on here for so long, it must be a no brainer, the man will not give the job to someone unlees there are the same as him, and has to kow how to be perfect.
• Location: st rose
• Compensation: 1

PostingID: 1341050439

RE: Sunny Day Cafe
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Date: 2009-08-25, 10:37PM CDT
Reply to: job-u3sva-1342630915@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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...These people are horrible employers and terribly inconsiderate people who could even be construed as abusive. I really feel that in some way it is almost a sadistic venture for the husband and wife owners to bring in pretty, young women and beat them down verbally and emotionally. I have never ever been viewed as anything less than a model employee EVER. I'm punctual, polite, and diligent. They don't train you at all, throw a lot of information at you and berate you when you don't succeed which only makes you feel worse and thus flounder more. I have never felt so awful my first day of work EVER. And I have worked some *&!? jobs. These people actually gave silent treatments when not pleased with you and verbally attacked my intelligence and ability to learn when I had barely been there a few hours. It was a terrible experience. They let me come in my fourth day and then fired me after I got there for being "ditzy" and saying I wasn't catching on fast enough. They knew they didn't want me right off I could tell but they couldn't be bothered to have the decency to spare me the traveling in the rain just to be further insulted. As far as being ditzy, as I am sure you might wonder if perhaps there was a reason for my treatment. I can assure you there is none. I am very intelligent and well mannered. I got another job within 24 hours of this unfortunate experience and am doing very well. This job involves as much or more of the skills and requirements as the ill-fated previous one if not more and I shine. Furthermore, sunny day is prejudice and sexist. They will never hire a male. Probably because they know a man won't sit there and smile and take the abuse. Basically don't waste your time with this job.
• Compensation: Pennies

PostingID: 1342630915

Response to RE: Sunny Day (CL)
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Date: 2009-08-26, 9:04AM CDT
Reply to: see below
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I believe the term "online" is not yet considered a verb in the English language.

Nice try, darling, but if you are going to insult someone--for insulting someone--at least make sure you know how and when to conjugate verbs.



p.s. conjugate: –verb (used with object)
1. Grammar.
a. to inflect (a verb).
b. to recite or display all or some subsets of the inflected forms of (a verb), in a fixed order:
One conjugates the present tense of the verb “be” as “I am, you are, he is, we are, you are, they are.”


• Compensation: we use a barter system

RE:sunnyday (st.rose)
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Date: 2009-08-26, 11:00AM CDT
Reply to: job-tpbum-1343244181@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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Good morning. I have learned from the past that each and every individual have different experiences than others. On a positive note, I was once an employee of Sunny Day Cafe and I am quite SHOCKED by the negative comments. I experienced something totally different. Whatever the problem is...I hope they can overcome ANY hurdles, if at all any. I've watched the postings and what I have viewed is a cat and mouse game. If you have had a good or bad experience with Sunny Day Cafe say what you're going to say and leave it alone. Anyone that post anything on craigslist have to verify their legal age 18 and over. So therefore, we are all adults. Please do not take this post as a NEGATIVE vibe. If you've had a BAD experience just SIMPLY move forward.
• Location: Kenner
• Compensation: Just a thought

PostingID: 1343244181

RE:sunnyday (st.rose)
This posting has been flagged for removal
(The title on the listings page will be removed in just a few minutes.)

Customer Service/Barista (Kenner/St Rose)
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Date: 2009-08-04, 9:51AM CDT
Reply to: see below
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Position is available immediately for the right candidate.

Must be Experienced. If you are not experienced in a full service capacity restaurant or coffee shop DO NOT APPLY!

Duties will include greeting & serving customers, taking orders, bagging orders to go. Barista Experience extremely helpful. Complete charge of the front of the house as well as assist at the end of the day with all clean up.etc....

Must be a friendly, courteous and a people person. This is not a job for the timid or shy. Must be a quick learner, quick on your feet and able to be on your feet all day and a team player.
This is a Mon - Fri Full Time Position 7 am - 3:30 pm.

Apply in person between 7 am - 10 am Mon - Friday at Sunny Day Cafe, 120 Mallard Street in the James Business Park on Airline. Business Park is located 1 mile past the Airport on Airline.
PLEASE NO PHONE CALLS OR E-MAILS!!!!!!!!!!!

PostingID: 1305140984

Prep Cook/Fry and Line Cook (Kenner/St Rose)
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Date: 2009-08-10, 8:35AM CDT
Reply to: see below
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Full Time Monday through Friday days
Plan, prep, set up and provide quality service in all areas of food production for menu items. Maintain organization, re-stocking, cleanliness and sanitation of work areas and equipment.
Must be able to handle multiple orders and prepare top quality food, following portion sizes and keeping a clean environment. YOU MUST BE STRONG ON ALL STATIONS, WORK CLEAN & BE ABLE TO WORK ON MULTIPLE TICKETS AT THE SAME TIME WITH THE SAME PORTIONS AND QUALITY AT ALL TIMES

If you are reliable and hard working this position is FOR IMMEDIATE HIRE

If you can't keep a clean kitchen, if you don't care about food quality, IF YOU CAN’T GET TO WORK ON TIME AND EVERY DAY - please do not apply.

Apply in Person between 7 am - 10 am Mon-Fri at Sunny Day Cafe, 120 Mallard Street in the James Business Park on Airline. Business Park is located 1 mile past the Airport on Airline. Turn at the light at the Ramada Inn and follow road around to Mallard Street.
PLEASE NO PHONE CALLS OR E-MAILS!!

Sacrifices

After a long and spirited conversation (I am ever so grateful she tolerates my interruptions and tendency to just talk over people when I get excited) with my bff I was sharply reminded about how few sacrifices I truly make these days. Sure I gave up the tv but I have a laptop so there’s always hulu; I gave away/sold/abandoned several of my things in our venture down; I spend less on booze and eating out than I used to (which isn’t to say that it's less than what most folks spend) – but what, really, am I sacrificing? Truth be told, the only sacrifices I’ve made are the ones that include detriments to my health, weight, and appearance.

Actually, I did give up one thing: smoking. I have successfully quit for several months now. I prefer not to count the days or remember the anniversary – kind of like the anniversary between me and my sweets - honestly; it’s one less thing to keep track of one less thing to be mad @ him for.

It does, however, beg the question: does a sacrifice have to be painful? Because I am a goofy dumb-ass I had to look it up.

sac•ri•fice (s k r -f s )

1. a. The act of offering something to a deity in propitiation or homage,
especially the ritual slaughter of an animal or a person.
b. A victim offered in this way.
2. a. Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a
greater value or claim.
b. Something so forfeited.
3. a. Relinquishment of something at less than its presumed value.
b. Something so relinquished.
c. A loss so sustained.

Yup, sounds pretty painful to me.

Back in the day-- my much younger days—there were several sacrifices but most were out of necessity. Or happened because I was flat broke: like having to choose between purchasing food or buying cigarettes (cigs almost always won by the way). That said, I still managed to scrape up enough cash to go to Europe, to buy the occasional new dress, to purchase boxes of red hair dye . . . Sure I ate and drank less; sure I was occasionally hungry, but what do I sacrifice today?

There are a few things that come to mind. Things I gave up to be here in New Orleans: my friends, new clothes/shoes, stuff in general, haircuts, my sanity (well, maybe I already lost that),the familiar . . . all in pursuit of something different, something new, for an adventure . . . but were those sacrifices enough?

It is hard for me to find a balance, to be focused these days and without knowing exactly what I want and what goals there are it seems, perhaps, less compelling to give up more for some undefined goal in the future. I do know – for a lot of reasons – I have to start making some sacrifices, something more significant for my betterment. Now I just have to figure out what those are.

Stupids Are All Over

Having been in New Orleans for about 2 months now I am convinced the “special” people are always referring to when they talk about NOLA is the kind that includes a short bus and a helmet. To say that the folks are hillbilly dip-shits and the practices of the deep-south are fucking stupid is a god damn understatement. While the options are numerous I’ve isolated a few of the top contenders.

The Service Despite being known as a food destination of sorts (and don’t even get me going about how bad and out-dated some of the food is) I think someone failed to notify management to accompany said good food with good service. In my short time here I have seen managers neglect the appearance of the establishment (floors so gross you actually stick to them, general managers who are often actually the chefs, walk into kitchens smoking while mopping their sweaty face with the same towels they proceed to wash the tables with – if they wash them at all). I’ve watched while entire restaurants remain un-cleared for hours on end, guests go ignored upon entry, hosts swat at roaches with the very menus they hand you, hell, I had one server finish her shift in the middle of our meal with no replacement while another bitched us and fellow staffers out for no other reason than for their own amusement. My service snafu du jour is one we experienced recently at an Indian restaurant in Uptown.

Upon arrival we were begrudgingly greeted by a server as we seated ourselves wherein he huffed “buffet only.” I don’t do buffets. As we got up to leave the server said “Oh, fine. Here’s a menu. Hurry up.” That should have been cause enough to leave but, no, we stayed. We had to practically beg for service while the 4 servers were too busy leaning against the bar to be bothered actually serving anyone. It seemed we were the only ones to order from the menu presumably because no one knew there was even an option. The other guests fetched and cleared their own plates and occasionally someone would be by to refill waters. More than that however, the few exchanges that were to be had between staff and customers were done in such an apathetic, rude manner, it was a wonder they were even still in business. In fact, the only time they moved with any gusto was when they cleared the table. That is they swooped in and pulled the butcher paper, beverages, and haggled over the 1$ tip (bill was only 8$ cuz we decided to leave after 2 aps) while we were still at the table. But that’s not even the “special part.” As we went to leave we noticed a guest book near the front of the door that had a litany of service complaints written in it. Instead of removing the book, editing the pages, or, I don’t know, maybe actually addressing any of the service issues they instead wrote responses to each of the complaints. The same tiny cursive handwritten message followed each assertion of bad service. Pages of “good food but bad service” were met with the same passive aggressive retort; some pretending to be other customers while others were written from the perspective of the staff.

The Roads One might think roadwork in Minnesota is arduous but at least they actually do the work up north. There are holes so big you could fall into them and the patch work causes more damage to your vehicle than the issue they supposedly covered. They’ll begin a massive road project on a main thoroughfare on a busy Saturday afternoon and then not return to it for weeks. They have a series of one ways all going the same way for blocks (oh and the one-ways sometimes change directions – still a one-way but now going the other direction), street signs are not there, arrows are posted the wrong direction, some stop signs are on the left side of the street, walk signs are upside down, you can’t turn left (instead you have to go down a block or more and do a u-turn) and the way some streets are designed you’d think they outsourced it to the St. Paul Irish.

The Drivers Bad roads are all the worse when you add in the atrocious drivers. Not just bad, they are the worst I’ve ever seen. Driving, it seems, is the only thing here they do fast – not just fast but reckless. The monstrously oversized SUV cabs bomb down the narrow streets of the quarter and blast their horns as if you were doing them a personal disfavor being on the roads yourself. They speed and yell and god help you if you’re on foot, bike, or scoot – they just don’t see you. They don’t yield or stop either. Stop signs, as it seems, aren’t seen either or, rather, probably just ignored. In fact most drivers fail to stop instead favoring the “California roll,” a half pause-part yield that occurs about mid-intersection. Honking is recreational, using turn signals are unheard of, lights are optional and drunk driving is required. The latter two we discovered personally the other night as we were nearly run over by a clearly intoxicated driver without lights as he rolled through the intersection going the wrong way on a one-way street. All this, by the way, occurred at the intersection in front of the French Quarter police station.

We saw this particular asshole a few times bobbing through the quarter before we crossed paths again a few blocks later. This time, like the last, it was a near miss and J started his spitting, yelling, hand gesture, man-tantrum routine. (This, to be noted, is an exercise in futility because they didn’t notice you when they ran you off the road and don’t notice you damning them to hell shortly thereafter. Some of the pedestrians get a kick out of it though.) Anyway, on this fine occasion the driver did notice. He pulled up right next to our moving scooter, rolled down the window and scavenged in his passenger seat for what we thought for certain was going to be a gun; we weren’t far off (neither was the gun). The slurring, squinty eyed driver places a cops cap on his head asks accusatively if we had a problem. “I didn’t think so,” he mumbles as he takes a pull from the can of beer tucked “discretely” into a paper bag, runs a red and rolls into the CBD.

The Crime Corruption is a word almost synonymous with NOLA but the crooks are as “special” as everyone else here. Their acts of crime and corruption are as often as dumb as the crooks that accompany them. While the list of acts are countless, in our short time here $150,000 “accidentally” fell-out the back of an armored car, several hundreds of thousands of dollars were found in the freezer of a local politician (now nearly every member of his family have been indicted), and several new yet unmarked cop cars were taken from the lot – driven off with the very keys delivered to the office manager just the day before. Oh, and the arrest of a Nazi skinhead was quite amusing. It was a nice touch watching the white officer slam his head into the car (another “accident” I presume) while the idiot spewed all sorts of hate speech and accusations. But my favorite, thus far, is the story I was told by a neighbor while we were watching the neighborhood boys wallop a purse snatcher. She explained that during a recent purse-snatching incident herself, a Good Samaritan came to her rescue and, subsequently, stole the bag himself.

The Tourists Before I go and blame all the idiocy on the locals let’s be clear: the tourists are equally and confoundedly fucking dumb. Alongside the locals, they over-drink, drive badly, and misbehave - all the time! Among the top of my list of dumb-ass behavior: the beads – hey fuck head it isn’t Mardi Gras, feather boas and bad hats are never a good idea or flattering choice (not to mention they make you a mark), whoopin’ and hollerin’ for no reason is simply annoying (especially the white folks, you know who you are!) and lame. I am not amused when you run in front of me, stick your ass in front of my moving bike, nor do I want to show you my tits. And the photo taking... It's not that I don't take pictures, I always have a camera, but do you really think you’re gonna snap some shot that hasn’t already been seen a million times? Do you really have to keep taking my picture? That blurry-blob flipping you off in the corner of your “inspired” shit is me, ya fuck. Try to consider where you’re pointing that thing, will ya?

Hey, public puking and urination is not OK but the one thing I’m most confused by is why do you have to sit on my stoop? I see this all the time. Strangers -- locals and visitors alike -- plop their big, ugly, drunk-ass down on someone else’s porch. Would you rest/sleep /pass-out/party/puke/picnic/hang-out on your neighbor’s porch back home? No? Well then don’t do it here. Hey, ya fuckers – people live here so go fuck/fight/piss or whatever in the doorway of your hotel room.

Don’t get me wrong, there are many interesting things to do and see here in NOLA. With only 2 months under my belt I’m sure to find more, but in addition to all of the good things there are a hell of a lot of bad, stupid, inexplicable shit that cause me to scratch my head and ask why? Before I start to go off again on the myriad of totally ridiculous things that are NOLA I should take a look at myself and ask what the hell prompted me to get on the short bus for the long ride to the deep-south.

A FEW OTHERS:
• Marble mouth
• Few to no computers in city hall. It was explained that they had been doing things the “old-fashion way” for so long they didn’t see a need to allocate the funds. The 1 hour and forty-five minutes it took one 500 pound government official to process jut one permit dictates otherwise.
• Card catalogues at the library.
• References at the library (ex, 13 year out dated tenant rights reference with missing pages).
• The gentleman’s puddle test; this southern hospitality thing is a myth. Sort of like Minnesota nice.
• A glut gutter punks
• Moldy people
• Hipster doofus galore (ex, the mailman in capris or the bald man with the tiny ponytail)
• Shit, everyone’s practically a cliché – every group represented
• Throw your garbage anywhere
• Give me a dolla
• The markets “They were horrible before (K) but now they’re just bad.”
• The rain puddles are more like piss, puke, or chemicals.
• Mumilard DJs that play the fucking records on the wrong speed.
• No one pulls over for the ambulance, fire trucks or cops.

Why does sobriety always start with a hang over?

The day started well enough with some weird declaration that I wasn’t going to drink today. No real reason other than my efforts to be economical backfired – I bought the gallon jug of vodka because it is a better price but all it seemed to do was promote more drinking. That said I headed out the door to hit the coffee shop.

I make a point of reading every day, typically at some coffee house. Today was no different except that I returned to one I had sworn off. After boycotting for a few weeks, I decided to go back to my beloved Envie despite yelling at the coffee dude the last time I was there. Seriously, he is a fucking moron. The dumb-asses there don’t like making the friggin’ frappe I always order so they just tell folks they’re out. Out of what, I’d like to know? Out of your dumb fucking mind? (Like yesterday they, the coffee house, “ran out” of iced coffee. Are you fucking kidding me here?) So I tell the guy off . . . he actually comes out of the place after me and states, “I don’t even know you. It’s not personal.”

“I know it’s not personal,” I tell him, “its laziness. You just don’t like making it.” Fucking idiots there are always turning away money. I mean customers.
Anyway, that’s not really my point here so hang in there. So I get my delicious coffee, read and after coffee, the man and I head to Satchamo fest for some eats and music. And where’s our first stop? Why, the margarita booth of course. Mmmm , it was so refreshing. And that’s where it started. The drinking that is.

Close to home and broke ass broke we do the responsible thing: make our own drinks and bring them back to the festival. The music’s great but my favorite of the day was this band of kids in high school. I just get such a kick out of street performers. It’s defiantly one aspect of the city that I love.

AJ stops by for a few drinks and, of course, the drinking continues through the night. Some drunk facebooking, more music, a few more drinks and out comes the gorilla suit. If my neighbors didn’t think we were weird before this, they certainly do now: spot lights, camera and the gorilla photo shoot commences on the front porch. Keep in mind we have an entire back yard with privacy fences and everything but the front stoop, I guess, just seemed more appropriate. A few digitals and an entire roll of black and white 110 (which I’m pretty sure I forgot to take the cap off of so there’s a whole wasted roll of film.)

Who knows what time it was when I finally hit the sack. I do know the man didn’t get around to feeding me so I’m certain that didn’t help the situation. But when I woke up at 7:30, and 10:30, and 12:30 (all little test runs to see if I could move yet; I couldn’t) I was soooo hung over. HUNG OVER!

As I lie there, wishing my head wasn’t pounding, I think maybe I won’t drink today? Of course, I said that yesterday and you can see how well that worked out for me.