Welcome to my life, a quick recap

Since my last posting there have been a few incident of note but I’ve been too busy to share them here. Although I will certainly recant those experiences (some good some not so good) let me just give you a quick recap of my month so far:

• We’ve received 2 tickets and the car was towed; one ticket was rescinded (after 2 visits to the court house, a video, a letter, and pictures) saving us 40$ we didn’t have.

• We’ve been audited; now owing an additional 200 bucks in one month’s time.

• I’ve had 2 serious financial meltdowns after performing minor clerical errors with our multiple checking and credit card accounts.

• We have walked out of no fewer than 5 restaurants because of the service.

• I’ve applied to 23 more jobs and have had 6 interviews; Mr. Man has serendipitously donated another 36 + hours of free labor for jobs he’ll likely never get and/or accept due to poor wage compensation.

• I was offered one serving position at le restaurant. I have already submitted to the background check and will comply with the mandatory drug test this afternoon. For the record: I consider both huge invasions of privacy. Let’s remember folks, this is a serving position. * At the age of 30 I quit what I would have referred to as my last serving job because I “didn’t want to be a 30-year-old server.” Maybe at 40 I can revisit that notion.

• I’ve been hit on by a late forty-something goober on the street (invited me to breakfast some day), a toothless half-in-the-bag “professional painter” at the Laundromat, and a 66 year old gypsy who’s just returned to the states after 2 heart attacks. Although he still had his teeth, they were grayed by a 3 pack, bottle of whisky a day habit (which is, according to him, his medicine). Let’s not forget the giant, greasy red neck who stopped his car to ogle and proclaim “you look good” (infer hillbilly dipshit accent and gapping mouth) and the twenty-something boy I thought had been flirting with me. He, I might add, turned out to be gay and is more likely to hit on my man than on myself.

• I visited a convent.

These, my friends, are the moments of my life in the few weeks following my 36th birthday. Happy fucking birthday to me indeed.